I am the type of person who sees the glass as half full. I have my days when I can be an extreme pessimist, but for the most part I am a very positive person. When I encounter those bad situations and experiences that we all face from time to time I try to find the meaning in them. I try to find at least some good in every situation no matter how bad it is. I am having trouble finding the silver lining in things that have been going on lately.
I just started my fifth year of teaching three weeks ago. Usually by this time I have gotten into my groove, but not this year. I have felt overwhelmed since the year began. (Actually, I have felt overwhelmed for a lot longer than that.) So why does it feel like my job is getting harder and that I am losing ground? I keep trying to do too many things. Why do I do this to myself? Because I am the Nebraska Change Agent, and if I don’t keep pushing the envelope in Western Nebraska, who will?
The problem is that I just don’t know if I have what it takes to keep going. I have experience some personal and professional setbacks recently that have shaken me to the core; events that have made me reevaulate who I am and what I believe in. I am desperately searching for the silver lining in these situations, but it just isn’t there. Please forgive me if I seem a little out of sorts in the coming weeks. I will be back. I just need to take some time to focus on my students, my college class, the Newbie project, our ISTE 10 proposal, and of course, my family. At some point in there I have to take care of myself, too. I will do that…..right after I track down that silver lining that I am so desperate to find.